I’m the luckiest girl alive. Earlier this month my mom, niece, and nephew packed up their bags and flew across the country to visit me in San Diego. It was four days full of food, fun, and plenty of sunshine, and I’ve been missing them ever since.
I’m settling into my new city, in these short four months it has already come to feel like home. But having your people—your home people—in your new space is a whole other level. I’m left with the coziest feelings, a boatload of gratitude, and the hope that they’ll come back again soon.
Here’s how we spent a family-friendly four days in San Diego, and why, in my opinion, teenagers are the coolest.
Four Days in San Diego
(Family Edition)
Day 1
Airport Pickup
One way to know, unequivocally, that you are loved, is to be picked up from the airport. The morning of their flight, after staying awake in San Diego until I knew that they were on the plane in Boston and taking off, then napping a mere four hours, I pulled a very out-of-character move and arrived on time to the airport, minutes after their flight touched down. I picked up my motley crew of sleepyheads, loaded up their bags in my car and off we went for coffee.
California Bean
California Bean is one of my favorite little coffee shops, more a shack than a shop, with a walk-up window and fun flavored lattes and Italian sodas. The staff is always super friendly and the zucchini bread is delicious.
City Tacos
You’re not allowed to come to California and not eat tacos. I borderline think I failed them because this was our only taco experience of the week. Next time they’re in town we’ll do a proper taco-crawl AND get them some Cali Burritos. I brought them to the City Tacos in Point Loma because it was on the way to our next activity. We each got three tacos and went round the table picking favorites.
Cabrillo Monument
Cabrillo Monument is somewhere I’ve been wanting to check out for a long time. It was fine, but I wouldn’t call it a must-do.
We walked along trails, saw some low-flying helicopters—my family’s intro to living by a Navy base—and saw some views of the coast and the city. In my opinion the view was lackluster. If you want to see a great city view of downtown, you’ve got to head to Harbor Island, across from the airport. I run over there sometimes, and it’s the perfect place for a golden-hour sunset view, the harbor in the foreground and the buildings towering behind. If you want a view of everything, head to Cowles mountain. I’m not an expert, but these are good options.
Little Italy
I checked them into their hotel in Little Italy for the night. I left to get ready for work, flying a redeye to Boston and then hopping a flight right back to San Diego first thing in the morning. The things I do are not advisable, but somehow my body is still adapting alright.
While I was at work, my family walked around Little Italy and had dinner. Exhausted from their flight, they were in bed by 6pm and got a solid night’s sleep. They got to poke around Little Italy some more in the morning, hitting a coffee shop and seeing the famous Little Italy Farmer’s Market, before I picked them up and took them home with me. Let the family vacation begin!
Yay, my people are here!
Day 2
San Diego Zoo
Day two was spent at the San Diego Zoo, and it was a day well spent. I always feel a little icky about places where animals are used for entertainment, but I did my research on the San Diego Zoo a year ago, when I visited for the first time, and found that it is one of the best and most ethical zoos in the country. It still feels a bit weird, but this is a major San Diego attraction and both B & S (my nephew and niece) were game. So, there we went, for four hours of hot, sweaty jungle fun.
If you want to read more about the San Diego Zoo, check out this post: Family Fun or Turn & Run? Tackling Mixed Feelings at The San Diego Zoo
Takeout Thai
We were so tired after a long day at the zoo (and my overnight escapades at work) that we opted for takeout Thai from Soi 30th, a local spot whose green curry I like, and a very early bedtime.
We had a ``roaring`` good time. (I'm so sorry I'm not punny.)
Weeeeee!
Day 3
Torrey Pines
Day 3 was our outdoorsy day, and it was a blast. I brought the gang to one of my favorite places, Torrey Pines, for a short hike and then a beach day. Torrey Pines is one of my favorite places in San Diego. It’s beautiful, easy to get to, and I can always find parking.
The family enjoyed the hike alright, but they LOVED the beach. We have beaches in New England, too, believe it or not, and some of them are beautiful. But most of them are small. The selling point of California beaches, in my opinion, is their size. There is so much coastline, straight, flat, unimpeded, that there is always plenty of room for you to find a spot, settle in, without strangers sitting on top of you. Go to one of the best New England beaches in the summer and you’ll find a patchwork of towels so tightly gathered that you can barely make out any sand in between the seams. People, umbrellas, coolers, blankets EVERYWHERE. It’s something we grow up with, we’re used to it. But having space to spread out, to feel unencroached, is so so, nice.
We were lucky enough to see some playful dolphins splashing around beyond where we swam, and everyone agreed it was one of our best beach days ever.
SomiSomi
Ice cream at SomiSomi was a treat planned for my niece and I, the two sugar lovers. If you’re in town, grab a taiyaki, a freshly made fish-shaped waffle cone with your choice of filling, soft serve flavor, and toppings. Fun, sweet, the perfect post-beach treat.
Split up
Day 3 happened to be Thursday and you know what that means—Run Club! I am so dedicated to LezRun that I ditched my family to go run a few miles with my friends. Believe me, they didn’t mind. While I was out running, they were running to In & Out Burger to see what all the fuss is about. (B gave a glowing review, S and my mom thought it was just okay.)
We topped off the night with a creepy movie, sprawled out on my couch.
Hiking Torrey Pines
hiking Torrey Pines
Torrey Pines State Beach
Torrey Pines State Beach, strain to see dolphins.
Day 4
North Park
Day 4 was spent roaming around my neighborhood. North Park has it’s own little downtown section and we hit up all the good stuff—Verbatim Books, Pigment, Artelexia, and some vintage shops. We had boba tea and sat at Swami’s Café for lunch. After two long, planned out days, it was nice to have no direction; just hanging, just wandering, just poking around. Happy to say the teenagers really liked my ‘hood.
Balboa Park
Trying to maximize the time, I brought the family to Balboa Park to check out the artists’ village and the main strip on El Prado. To be honest, it was try-hard and ended up being kind of a bust. The day was SO hot, and we had already been out all morning. By the time we tried to rally, in the mid-day San Diego sun, we were completely exhausted. Better luck next time!
Airport
I packed up my people and headed back to the airport to bid them goodbye. Four days was probably the perfect amount of time, but watching them leave, I felt like I could do 14 more. They got on their flight home, and I went back to “real life.”
Friday morning book run, anyone?
Rallying in Balboa Park
There are so many things we didn’t get to do, because four days is not enough to see and do everything. Some of my favorite things—like an afternoon at sunset cliffs didn’t make the cut. Some other things got cut because of time crunch, things I thought would be fun for each teen—the USS Midway Museum for B, the history nerd, the Comicon Museum for S, currently very into K-pop, Korean culture, and comics. We didn’t get to go to PB or OB or La Jolla cove—important San Diego spots, to be sure, but it was more pressing for me to show them, glowingly, adoringly, my new neighborhood, North Park.
Getting to share my new favorite place with my old favorite people felt like a full-circle experience of “home”. The vibe was so cozy it could have been fall, despite the blistering heat and the palm trees swaying.
Teenagers (Get a Bad Rap)
My visitors included my mom—my biggest supporter, who has already been out to San Diego twice to visit since I moved here four months ago, and my niece and nephew. Since they’re not my kids, I’m calling them by their initials, S and B. My niece and nephew are 14 and 15, respectively. And I think teenagers get a bad rap.
Babies are cute and toddlers are wild and kids are precocious, but OMG I am LOVING these teenage years. It is so cool being able to hang out with my niece and nephew and get to know them as people, their individual personalities developing roots and offshoots. It is so nice to not have to plan “kid-friendly activities”. We can do normal stuff adults like to do, since they’re (kind of) almost adults. Last summer my nephew, B, and I had a day in Portland ME, where we hit up a book shop, a coffee shop, went out to lunch and then perused an art museum. We would go to open mic nights together at a local brewery, me drinking NA beer and him a lemonade, and play a stupid table game while we listened to the people sing and play. My niece, S, and I go for drives to coffee shops, walk the beach together, shop, listen to new Taylor albums, (and Doja Cat, don’t count her out) and she is always down to watch something creepy or scary.
I love seeing the things they’re into—which stores they want to go in, what they’re practicing, reading, wearing. I love when they tell me something personal, or—bestill my heart—ask me for advice. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I am victory dancing on the inside. (Eyes forward, playing it cool on the outside, obviously.)
I want to be someone they can come to with problems. I want to be someone they come to with a fun, spontaneous idea. I want to stay young enough, in spirit, to hang with these two for as long as possible. Forever maybe. And I really, really want to be a different kind of example for them. I’m a single 38-year old woman. I work a weird job that gives me an alternative lifestyle. I’ve traveled alone—a lot, and to places some people wouldn’t. I bought a little house by myself. And then I rented out my little house and moved across the country just because I wanted to try something new.
I don’t think my life choices make me better than anyone else. I don’t think everyone would enjoy my life choices, and I’m sure some people are horrified by them. But I do like the feeling of knowing these kids have a weirdo aunt that walks to the beat of her own drum. I do like my niece seeing me single and HAPPY, living my best life. Because the narratives for little girls in our culture often direct them towards men and motherhood as the only source of that. I like my nephew seeing me travel to places where I don’t speak the language, going alone, staying a couple months. I like telling him about my trips, how the more places I go, the more I see, the more I know I don’t know much. They’re both at the age where, in your (kind of) almost adult brain, you think you kind of know a thing or two. You might think you know a lot.
They probably won’t know until they’re well into their 30s that none of us knows anything about anything, but at least to plant the seed of thought, to show humility and openness in front of them, awe and wonder at other cultures and ways of living, is something. If watered enough, it might just germinate and grow. They might just be open and humble and full of wonder, too, know it’s okay not to know everything. It’s not that I want them to be like me, but that an expansive, open view of the world is something I wish upon everyone—especially the people I love most.
Teenagers get a bad rap. But I'm here for it.
I hope they see my 38-year-old ass still living with roommates and having the time of my fucking life and think “Well, that’s one way to live.” I hope they think I’m cool forever, or at least cool enough to show me their real, unfiltered selves when they’re nervous, or uncertain, or brimming with excitement. At least cool enough to want to hang out with me, even if it involves eye-rolls when my back is turned.
The point of this post is nothing. It’s just spits and dribbles of joy. Musings of a lucky girl sharing so much love, and her new life, with her favorite people from the old one.
Have a COOL weekend, or at least cool enough.
