Two days in London, anyone?

The amount of travel I did last week for this quick trip to London isn’t for the faint of heart, but it was a trip that meant a lot to me. I was stopping by the familiar city to visit a mutual friend of the person I lost to Cancer earlier this year. Don’t worry, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. Overall, the trip was lovely. Today I’m sharing how I spent 48 hours in London, how it felt to be there without Will, and how I’m feeling now, post-trip. Let the oversharing commence.

The lyrics of The Killers’ famous tune Somebody Told Me have always evaded me. “Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year.” In a recent car ride, a friend and I wondered if these words had any significance at all, or if, perhaps more likely, the convolutedness was the point—a commentary on gossip.

I’ve felt close to that song this week, as I explained to friends and co-workers that I was making this quick trip to London—”To visit my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend”.

It sounds messy. And definitely strange. But the feeling I was seeking, in planning this trip was something different: Understanding, comfort. Closure, even?

I hoped, on this very quick trip to London, to feel closer to my late friend by proximity to shared connection. That being around someone else who knew him would help the healing journey I’ve been on since April, when he died—since last August, when he got his diagnosis.

It was different than expected, as most things in life are. And what I’d planned on being a cathartic, emotional experience, felt largely like just another trip. A hop across the pond (which I’ve done so many times) to meet up with a friend. Maybe the normalcy of it all—hitting cafes, walking through rave shops, leaning out my window to peer down quiet streets with a coffee in hand—is a part of the catharsis. Maybe this trip was an invitation to start moving on.

As serious as that all sounds, the trip didn’t feel so. I kicked it around London for 48 hours, sometimes solo, sometimes with my new friend. I explored neighborhoods I’d never visited in my previous trips to London, and, in a true testament to normalcy, I ate my face off.

It ended up being a pretty great time, and if you’re headed to London for a quick trip, maybe you’d want to do something similar. I didn’t hit many of the major attractions, but I’ve seen them before. If you’re visiting London for the first time, you could always add this to the Big Ben/London Eye/Buckingham Palace loop to add a little slow, a little chill, to your itinerary. Or do whatever you want, none of my business.

Here’s how I spent 48 hours in my (almost) quickest trip to London.

Where I stayed

This time around, I chose to stay in the Hyde Park/Notting Hill area of London, by Bayswater Station. It’s further North than I’ve stayed before, but still considered “Central”. My accommodation, a cute furnished apartment, was five minutes from the nearest underground station, making getting around super easy. It also gave me an excuse to mosey around Notting Hill, a neighborhood I’d yet to explore before now.

If you think stately white buildings on quiet streets, a vast, green park and a tube station within 5 minutes walking, and a cozy furnished apartment with everything you need sounds good, then check out the link for the place I stayed:

Bayswater by CAPITAL Apartments

How to Spend 48 Hours in London

Day 1

1. Breakfast in Westminster

I arrived in London’s Gatwick airport at 7am Tuesday morning. The good thing about arriving early, especially for a quick trip to London, is that you have the whole day to explore. The bad thing is I wasn’t able to procure early check-in and had to wait EIGHT hours before I could enter my rented apartment. There’s nothing to do but make the most of it.

I hopped aboard the Gatwick Express (or northern line, who can remember two days ago?) and started making my plans.

London may not be my favorite city in the world, but its public transport system is the stuff of dreams. It is SO easy to get to the city from the airports and so easy to navigate once you’re in the city. The trains (not the underground, but the actual trains) have Wi-Fi and comfy seats. The train dropped me off at Victoria Station and instead of heading up to Bayswater, where I’d be staying, I opted to get outside and find a place to have breakfast and a much-needed coffee.

TomTom Coffee House in the Belgravia neighborhood was the perfect place to sip an americano and people watch. I had shakshouka for breakfast and though it could have been hotter it was pretty tasty. I would come back just for the vibe, and it was a great way to start my short trip to London.

2. Hampstead Heath

You remember I had plans to meet up with a friend while in town. Luckily, she lived in London before and had her own favorite spots to show me. After making a detour to my accommodation to store my luggage, I met up with E in Hampstead. We popped into Silverberry café to catch up and have yet another coffee.

Then we headed over to the heath.

Hampstead Heath is a greenspace in London that has walking and biking trails, swimming ponds, and even a zoo. It’s also home to Parliament Hill, where you can get a great view of the London city skyline.

3. Camden Town

Next up on our little London adventure was a trip to Camden—the home of Camden Market and the late, great Amy Winehouse! In all my visits to London I had never made it to Camden, so this was the perfect afternoon activity. We strolled along the canal and through a mishmash of vendors, E took me to Cyberdog, which is a whole experience, and we had a sip and a light bite at the local Weatherspoons. If you haven’t spent time in the UK, the concept of Weatherspoons will be lost on you. It was my one of my late friend’s favorite establishments and it is very English. Basically, Weatherspoon’s is a chain pub/restaurant, but each location looks a bit different. You can get cheap eats and drinks and you can rely on one being just around the corner in basically every major city.

4. An Early Night

After our trip to Hampstead Heath and our jaunt around Camden Town, I was ready to check into my rental and go to bed. Lest we forget I had been up all night on an overnight flight and spent the day IN MY AIRPORT OUTFIT, powering through on caffeine and excitement alone. I decided, nearly falling asleep on the train, that dinner would have to be taken at home. I popped into the local Sainsbury’s grocery store, picked up a salad, a bag of crisps, and some chocolate, and headed up the road to finally check into my accommodation. A quick dinner and a hot shower later, I was in bed by 7pm and asleep within minutes.

Day 2

1. Slow Morning

There is nothing better than a slow, leisurely morning, if you ask me. And that is exactly what I got on Day 2 of my super quick trip to London.
Unfortunately I woke  up at 4:30 in the morning and was unable to fall back to sleep. But this gave me plenty of time to sit around in my pajamas, sipping coffee and writing morning pages, admiring the quiet, sleepy streets through an open window. If I had my way I would start every day this way.

2. Notting Hill

The only thing I knew about Notting Hill, prior to this trip, is that there was a popular movie by the same name in the 90s. I’ve never seen the film, so I had no real reference for the neighborhood. I know now that one of the things Notting Hill is known for is its brightly colored townhomes—similar, I guess, to the “painted ladies” in San Francisco.

I strolled around in the morning, dodging families doing school drop-off. Admittedly this was a bit of an “Instagram excursion”—I meandered through the streets, snapped photos of the colorful houses and enjoyed the peaceful feeling of having the place largely to myself. I also popped into the Notting Hill Bookshop made famous by the movie. Mornings are the best.

3. Portobello Road

Portobello Road, in Notting Hill, is a place I did have cultural reference for, thanks to the 1971 Disney film Bedknobs and Broomsticks. (If you haven’t seen this one, it is so worth a watch!) In the film one of the characters sings of “Portobello Road, Portobello Road, street where the riches of ages are stowed. Anything and everything a chap can unload…” blah blah blah, you get the picture.

Portobello Road is home to an open air market that spans several blocks. The main event is on Saturdays, but even on a Wednesday morning, there were plenty of vendors out, selling their wares. I moseyed around, checking out the goods at pop-up tables along the street, and popped in a few vintage shops along the way. I also stopped several times for my favorite part of traveling—“a little treat.”

First was the americano and spinach quiche from Bonne Bouche—a no-frills bakery with an incredible selection of sweet and savory things. Next was the fruit pastry from Maison Puget (delicious). And lastly, I stopped at the oh-so-cute Cheeky Scone for a scone with jam and clotted cream. The little bakeries and sweets shoppes are probably my favorite part of visiting Europe and the UK, and these three did not disappoint!

5. The National Gallery

Visiting The National Gallery is something I’ve done before, with Will. This time I went with E, and we wandered around the galleries, bringing up this and that memory of him, picking out our favorite paintings along the way.

My late friend loved art, and it was one of the things I loved most about him. On my second trip to London, after we’d taken on a month of Spain, side-by-side, he brought me to The National Gallery and showed me one of his favorite paintings, “An Experiment on a Bird in the Air Pump” by Joseph Wright of Derby. Startling at first glance, and a bit horrible, it depicts a group of people standing around watching an experiment being carried out on a live (but not for long) bird. The painting takes on the controversy of scientific experimentation, the conflicting virtues of discovery vs. morality, cruelty vs. expediency. It’s thought-provoking, which is why he loved it. And the use of color, the execution of candlelight, make the work spellbinding, beautiful, in a way.

I had to see it again, in memory of my friend. If I ever find myself in Madrid once more, I’ll visit “Las Meninas”, the Diego Velazquez masterpiece, at the Museo del Prado for the same reason. Even in Boston, home for me and so far outside his world, I can visit the MFA to see John Singer Sargent’s “The Daughters of Edward Darley Boit” and think of him.

I didn’t know all these names before Will. It’s one of the things I treasure about meeting him, spending time in his orbit. A splash of his enthusiasm brushed off onto me, and visiting The National Gallery, one of the best museums in London, one of my dear friend’s favorite places on earth, was the perfect way for us to honor him.

6. Dinner in Covent Garden

After our visit to The National Gallery, we left Trafalgar Square and headed to Covent Garden for dinner and a debrief. We had pizza at Franco Manca, a chain restaurant known for their sourdough crust and gluten-free options. We talked about our late friend, our shared love, our shared shock and sadness for what happened. We laughed about some of his maddening little quirks—shared things, too. And we talked about our diverging paths, where we’re each headed now, after this shared sorrow.

We hugged and said “It’s so nice to meet you in person”. We promised to meet again, and maybe we will. She walked to the tube, bound for East London, and I walked an hour in the opposite direction, towards my quiet little apartment. I moved through the city like a ghost, my earbuds in, thinking maybe this is what closure feels like: No fuss or big, grand gestures, no sigh of relief. Just footsteps on the pavement, silence on a crowded street, moving forward.

Day 3

Day 3 was my big travel day.

After an early morning walk in Hyde Park, I showered, packed, and left for my long voyage. It was two trains to Gatwick Airport, followed by a 7-hour flight to Boston. When I arrived in Boston, I transferred terminals, changed into my flight attendant costume, and worked a 6-hour flight to Los Angeles. From, there, I transferred terminals, and caught the last flight of the night from LA to San Diego. I stepped foot into my house at 1am, 24 hours after leaving my quaint apartment by Notting Hill. I was exhausted and so, so thankful to be home, in the place I’ve chosen to make my fresh start.

My quick trip to London was different than I expected it to be. Less emotional and not the deep bonding experience I’d anticipated, it felt instead like any other solo trip—where I eat and walk my way around a city, look at some beautiful things, where I spend some time with a friend along the way. Sure, I thought of Will 100 times in the two days I was there, but while the thoughts appeared, and swirled, and faded back, I checked my map and tapped my card and pressed my fingertips to fabrics, and leaves, and brick facades. I boarded trains, and ate pastries, and took my jacket off and on, off and on, the English weather mocking me. It’s impossible not to think of him in London, and seeing E was the reason behind this visit. But even still, the trip felt like mine, like a “Little treat”.

There is perhaps nothing that comforts me more than being in a foreign city alone. The anonymity sets a warm fire in my belly and the new, unfamiliar surroundings remind me of my competence, that everything is going to be alright. Maybe my trip was different than expected, and maybe this downtime to wander alone, and get my bearings, and enjoy the little bursts of color and joy was just what I needed. Maybe now, safely home across the ocean, I can put my feelings and the hard things of last year into a box. Perhaps they can live on the top shelf of my closet, instead of the forefront of my mind—close enough to take down and examine when I want, contained enough to keep from coloring my every experience.

Maybe I’m full of shit.

Either way, the trip was nice. I had a really fun time, and if you find yourself on a quick trip to London, then maybe you’ll want to do some of the same things. (Though, I recommend spacing your pastries better than I did, to avoid a bellyache.) This is not a “Two days in London” itinerary for those who have never been before. But if you’ve already hit some of the main central attractions, this was a lovely way to spend two days in London.

Maybe someday

Maybe someday I’ll re-visit other places of significance—Old Trafford, the Monkey Forest, Wales, Tarragona, Santiago de Compostela. Places that will always remind me of him, no matter how many other people have stepped foot on their soil and been awestruck by their landmarks. Maybe someday I’ll be in a new life, and this will all just be something that happened once. It’s sad to think of moving on, but we do it, don’t we?

This post took much longer to compose than my quick trip to London. As I (finally) finish it, I’m reflecting on loss and renewal. I’m thinking of the people who lost Will. I’m thinking of everyone who has lost someone—especially too young and too soon. I’m thinking about the myriad of ways of dealing with grief. Wondering when the transition from deep, black gloom to something like sunshine, or perhaps just a light spring rain, occurs. I’m thinking of the disparate feelings of realizing joy has returned, then wondering if it’s too soon.

Mostly, I’m thinking about gratitude. How lucky I am to have seen these places, walked these roads, stared at these paintings, and shared so much joy with him in his quick stay on this planet. How grateful I am to have at least two ties to the person he was, one of them in E—who I now know beyond the screen, in real life. How my life as a flight attendant allows me to hop a quick flight to London (or Manchester or Wales) for a two-day trip, with little notice. How I was able to show up in the last year. For my fresh start, the new life I’m building.

It was a good trip, indeed.

If you got this far, thanks for reading. If you’re wading through anything like the feelings above, I see you. I’m sending virtual hugs to all the people out there having to accept loss when they sure don’t want to. Sending love to those of you struggling with seeing the sunshine through the clouds and encouragement to those feeling bad about feeling good. None of this is easy. Life is messier than visiting your ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. But we don’t get a scrap of joy without also feeling the sting of loss. And, in my opinion, nothing could make this worth giving up.

Thanks for your patience with this late and lengthy post. Hope to see you next time. <3